Weekend Update #46

A short update from this past weekend with some stats and a notable FAFO incident.

There’s some crime is down in there somewhere.

Final Demonized Tally: 6 killed, 25 wounded
2022 weekend tally: 4 killed, 18 wounded
2021 weekend tally: 8 killed, 39 wounded
2020 weekend tally: 6 killed, 47 wounded
2019 weekend tally: 2 killed, 20 wounded
2018 weekend tally: 1 killed, 7 wounded
2017 weekend tally: 5 killed, 28 wounded
2016 weekend tally: 10 killed, 20 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 6 killed, 13 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 3 killed, 15 wounded
Average weekend: 5 killed, 23 wounded

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Fuck Around and Find Out (FAFO)

Last week we posted the mugshot of an unfortunate fellow who got the shit beat out of him, “detained” was the word of choice, for getting caught with a stolen car. We noted that it’s not surprising to see a rise in vigilantism given the pro-criminal bent of the so-called justice system.

Fast forward to this past weekend and it seems as if one (or more) individuals have raised their vigilante bet and splashed the pot while doing so. First, the transcript of the original scanner audio:

Units in six and all the citywide, getting a couple calls of an auto theft in progress. 834 East 89th Place, 834 East 89th Place in the alley. Callers say there's four male blacks about 14 to 15 years of age who are trying to steal the neighbor's vehicle out of the alley. They're all wearing black hoodies, unknown weapons, they did use something to break the window. - CPD Citywide 2 Scanner Audio

Next is the official CPD narrative as written to be copied nearly verbatim by local Chicago media outlets:

800 block of E. 89th Pl, on November 19, 2023 at approx 2:27 p.m. 6th District

Two male victims, unknown age, were discovered with gunshot wounds to the body in the alley near the above address. Both victims were pronounced on scene by CFD. There are no offenders in custody. Area Two Detectives are investigating. - Chicago Police News Affairs

Here’s the Chicago Sun-Times’s and Channel 2’s version of events, which reads much like the official version above.

Chicago Sun-Times

CBS Channel 2

So as usual, we have to rely on CWBChicago to do the journalism-ing thing that the majors won’t do to tell us what happened.

Two 14-year-old boys were seen trying to steal a car moments before someone shot them dead on the South Side yesterday afternoon.

Chicago police said the boys were found with gunshot wounds in an alley behind the 800 block of East 89th Place around 2:27 p.m. Both were pronounced dead at the scene.

Moments earlier, someone called 911 to report that four people were trying to steal a car in an alley behind the same block, according to CPD dispatch records.

That call was followed by reports of shots fired and a person lying unconscious in the alley. First responders found the second boy lying under a vehicle. Both had suffered gunshot wounds to their heads.

Witnesses told police that four young males had been trying to steal a gray Hyundai, the two who were killed and two others who ran away. (full story)

We’ll say it again, we’ll likely continue to see a rise in this sort of activity as the police stand down and the judicial system installs more SAFE-T Act-approved revolving doors on the courthouses and jails. However, most media outlets will simply tweak the official narrative, hit publish, and move on to the next current thing.

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Doing the Black Friday Thing Too

Ho! Ho! Ho..ly Crap! It’s almost Thanksgiving? WTF?! Because youse guys made the questionable decision to subscribe to this Substack, we want to give you the chance to make another questionable decision on some Xmas gifts. Use the code SUBSTACK25 to knock 25% OFF your order and be sure to order no later than December 10th for in-time delivery. (25% almost matches Brandon’s approval rating.)

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If you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading and remember “We don't want nobody nobody sent”.