April Wrap-up

Breaking down the idiocy and reviewing the stupidity that was April 2023 in Chicago.

We didn’t get the first all 70°+ weekend shitshow, but we came close with a demonization-free, summer-like Friday and Saturday, April 14-15, but fell short with that Sunday dropping 30°. This only means that May will have to take the honors this year.

April 2023: 56 killed, 197 wounded
April 2022: 57 killed, 203 wounded
April 2021: 57 killed, 258 wounded
April 2020: 58 killed, 195 wounded
April 2019: 66 killed, 187 wounded
April 2018: 42 killed, 181 wounded
April 2017: 49 killed, 270 wounded
April 2016: 40 killed, 274 wounded
April 2015: 37 killed, 204 wounded
April 2014: 37 killed, 232 wounded
Avg April: 49 killed, 223 wounded

A breakdown of the month’s idiocy shows:

• 49 shot & killed

• 3 stabbed

• 2 beaten

• 1 strangled

• 1 child abuse

• 2 death investigations

• 1 shot by police, fatal

• 0 mass shootings

• 9 homicide-linked arrests

• A person shot every 2 hrs 56 mins

• A homicide every 12 hrs 52 mins

• 6 homicide-free days

• 50 males killed vs 6 females

• 48 Blacks, 5 Hispanics, 3 White/Other

• 1 child 12 and younger shot, fatal

• 48 teenagers shot, 10 fatally

• Homicide age range: 1-68

• Team South Shore led w/ 22 shot, 2 fatally

• 11th District led w/ 31 shot, 8 fatally

• Expressway shootings: 3 shot, 0 fatal

• 13 grazed

• 3 selfies

• 12 #ShotInTheAss

The lack of warmth didn’t affect our forecast of 50 homicides and 225 shot and wounded as overall we were in the ballpark for each. As for May, we see a break with the cool and wet resulting in a significant uptick in flying lead resulting in 60 homicides and 275 shot and wounded by month’s end. Additionally, Lightfoot v2.0 officially starts on the afternoon of May 15th. We suspect we’ll be somewhat busy over the next four years.

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Official Lowlights

Official Stats Through April 23rd

The CPD hasn’t officially posted all of April’s nonsense yet, but through April 23rd we can see those red-colored percentages mean overall crime is still up aside from a dip in murders. We see no reason why this trend won’t continue.

As for April homicides, the CPD officially tallied 52 murders whereas we counted 56 homicides (there’s a difference between the two). So far we’ve been able to account for two, a fatal self-defense shooting on the first is being counted as a robbery and a fatal police-involved shooting doesn’t count towards the CPD’s murder tally. Since official data lags by about a week, it’ll be a few more days before we get a complete view and get an idea of where the other two are hiding.

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Summer of Joy 2 Preview

You may have heard that there was a small disturbance (not mayhem!) downtown a couple of weeks ago. Here’s our write-up on the events of that weekend followed by our first Substack-hosted video.

Mostly Peaceful Weekend #15

Chicago Weekend Mayhem & Stupidity

Lightfoot v2.0 hasn’t even assumed the throne yet and has already inspired one poster and two t-shirts from a single weekend. More on that below.

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Forest Glen Gets On The Board

The sleepy Northwest Side hamlet (technically a Community Area) recorded its first homicide in relation to our dataset of 10+ years. While possible, it’s unlikely that Forest Glen was a blood-soaked killing field before we starting tracking this nonsense.

Out of the 77 official Community Areas contained within Chicago proper, Forest Glen was the last of the 77 to tally a homicide. By contrast, five or six miles to the south on Cicero Ave, Austin has tallied more than 600 homicides in the same time frame. That’s a lot of silly decisions.

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The Trend Continues

Related: our dataset STILL has only two days of the Lightfoot era going shooting free, Nov 18, 2019, and Jan 7, 2020. With just days left with Lightfoot v1.0, it’s highly likely she’ll only get those two days. Well done everyone.

Speaking of a job well done, Lightfoot v1.0 has officially surpassed the 15,000 shot threshold, easily beating Rahm’s second term by over 2,000.

In your face Rahm!

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Local Stenographer Says Stuff, Gets Ratioed

This one got ratioed pretty good.

Without the ability to embed tweets, you’ll have to click through to read the replies. https://twitter.com/royalpratt/status/1650929147571519490?s=20

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Step Right Up!

We spent tens and tens of minutes last week pulling this one together and it shows! Let everyone know that demonization-free fun and enjoyment await downtown all summer long! We have some new tees as well. Check them out at shopjackass.com.

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If you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading. Our goal is to push out one long form post a week in addition to our regular stats focused posts. Thanks and remember “We don't want nobody nobody sent”.