Year One
May 15th, 2024 marked the one-year anniversary of Brandon Johnson's term as mayor of Chicago. Let's see how Brandon's crime stats compared to Lori's and Rahm's during that first year.
We’ll leave the interpretation of the stats up to you, good, bad or otherwise. A few things to note:
The timeframe used is the first full day in office plus 365 days. For Brandon we used 5/16/23 - 5/15/24, Lori is 5/21/19 - 5/20/20 and Rahm is 5/19/15-5/18/16.
The backhalf of Rahm’s second first year was 2016 which saw a multi-decade high of shootings and people shot. To this day, we don’t have a good explanation as to why 2016 was a total shitshow especially when compared to the 2013-2015 period.
The burglary number is suspicious for reasons that are not clear. We suspect something changed in the way burglaries were coded by the CPD plus any burglaries not associated with the main residence or business (like a garage) were relegated to calling 311. That change was implemented years earlier by then SuperNintendo Garry McCarthy.
The explosion in cars stolen is almost all due to the Kia Boys and the ease of stealing Hyundai and Kia vehicles. Regardless of how easy or hard a car is to steal, a stolen car is a stolen car.
For Lori’s sake, this timeframe ended less than two weeks before all hell broke loose over that mostly peaceful, yet often violent weekend of 5/29/20 - 5/31/20 when violent crime stats skyrocketed overnight.
As always, head over to HeyJackass.com to see the latest stupidity regardless of who is the “Man on Five”.
The Greatest Shitshow on Earth
We couldn’t help it. When we heard that the DNC was coming to town the gears instantly started turning on how best to put our sarcastic spin on an event that’ll likely be a massive dumpster fire. As of this post, we have four tees and three posters to choose from. Just for you Substackers (if that’s a word), use the code SUBSTACK10 to take 10% OFF your order. Thank you!
Social Media
We’ve cut down our social media presence to just those places we feel kind of work for us including the platform you’re on now (and not Facebook). Check us out on these other platforms if you haven’t already done so:
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If you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading. And remember “We don't want nobody nobody sent”.
Just wondering if all of Chicago PD is keeping 5,000 Democrat Delegates from crossing paths with the native population. What is going to prevent the rest of the city from turning into a full fledged shorting gallery? Just wondering…
Oh man, Groot deserves an apology!