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St. Patrick’s Weekend Stupidity
A round-up and rundown of all the mostly peaceful, yet sometimes alcohol-infused events in and around Chicago this past weekend from 12pm Friday, March 10th – 6am Monday, March 13th.
While St. Patrick’s Day isn’t until next Friday, the city’s official celebration is always the preceding Saturday and therefore the river was green, the parade marched and the bars were at full vomit capacity.
Final Vomit Tally: 1 killed, 17 wounded
2022 weekend tally: 2 killed, 25 wounded
2021 weekend tally: 6 killed, 39 wounded
2020 weekend tally: 2 killed, 18 wounded
2019 weekend tally: 4 killed, 16 wounded
2018 weekend tally: 8 killed, 14 wounded
2017 weekend tally: 3 killed, 18 wounded
2016 weekend tally: 4 killed, 30 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 4 killed, 18 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 3 killed, 18 wounded
Average tally: 4 killed, 22 wounded
4:15p 11100 S Michigan, Roseland, M/37
4:15p 11100 S Michigan, Roseland, M/52
6:00p 2900 S State, Douglas, M/33
7:35p 6400 S Rhodes, Woodlawn, M/37
11:25p 4400 S Honore, New City, M/24
11:30p 900 N Central Park, Humboldt Park, M/30
1:25a 200 S Wabash, Loop, F/26 (homicide)
2:20a 4100 W North, Humboldt Park, M/18
2:30a 7100 S Halsted, Englewood, M/62
2 shot in the Loop as crowds gathered
for dyeing of Chicago River
8:50a 180 N Dearborn, Loop, M/35
8:50a 180 N Dearborn, Loop, M/58
11:30a 4900 W Van Buren, Austin, M/19
6:50p 2800 S Pulaski, Little Village, M/17
9:20p 6000 S Pulaski, West Lawn, M/19
6:05a 2200 S Wabash, Near South Side, M/22
12:45p 7200 S Green, Englewood, M/17
8:05p 9600 S Avenue N, East Side, F/19
No Accountability Monday
3:15a 3600 W 64th, West Lawn, M/46
St. Pat’s Shenanigans
In the years before the Covaids, St. Pat’s weekend was full of drunken debauchery, fisticuffs, and other misdemeanor-level stupidity. While things have been back to normal for some time now, St. Pat’s still hasn’t quite returned to its pre-Covaids level of stupid, but our intrepid heroes are trying.
Chicago’s annual St. Patrick’s celebrations have been tamed from the rip-roaring, no-holds-barred free-for-alls that were unleashed downtown and in Wrigleyville for years. But the Chicago police radio traffic is still peppered with entertaining nuggets.
Continue reading over at CWBChicago as they’ve timestamped all the best police calls and have a (non-embeddable) video of the
fight dance still framed above for your viewing pleasure.
Clown City Update 🤡
As the runoff approaches, it’s only going to get dumber and dumber and no one has more experience with dumb than the CTU because grammar is hard.
Poor grammar aside, Bud Light? Not sure where that’s coming from, but everything else seems to point to Paul running for the head of a country club in Greenwich CT.
Finally, our resident master of memes, Purplehip312, fixed the original tweet to better reflect one candidate’s preferred voter.
Final Note on the Feb 28th Election
Since you cannot see the qouted tweet for whatever reason, here it is.
Speaking of dicks….
All Dicks Must Come To An End
Quite the segue… Anyway. we’ve knocked $5 off one of our most popular tees as a thank you for a solid third place finish.
If you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading. Our goal is to push out one long form post a week in addition to our regular stats focused posts. Thanks and remember “We don't want nobody nobody sent”.
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