February in Chicago
February usually marks the low point of the year, but with above-average temps and the complete absence of snowfall, this February managed to outshoot January and last February.
A breakdown of the month’s non-demonizable, silly decisions because root causes shows:
29 shot & killed
2 stabbed
1 unknown
0 shot by police
5 CCL shootings, 2 fatal
2 homicide-linked arrests
1 murder/suicide
A person shot every 3 hrs 8 mins
A homicide every 21 hrs 45 mins
4 mass shootings – 19 shot, 6 killed
10 homicide-free days
28 males killed vs 4 females
25 Blacks, 5 Hispanics, 2 White/Other
2 children 12 and younger shot, 0 fatal
25 teenagers shot, 5 fatally
Homicide age range: 14-59
Team Little Village led w/ 13 shot, 2 fatal
10th District led w/ 19 shot, 4 fatal
Expressway shootings: 0 shot, 0 fatal
8 grazed
4 selfies
9 #ShotInTheAss
Our February forecast of 40 homicides with another 125 shot and wounded was off on each side but nearly dead-on when totaled. As for March, if this warmer-than-average trend continues we could be looking at a repeat of March 2012 which posted May-like numbers, however, without the benefit of the warming sun, the start of Spring Training will likely add 40-45 homicides with another 150 shot and wounded to the totals.
Bad News To Start The Month
If only there was some sort of consortium that would agree on an early departure from the current kakistocracy.
Wait, What?
You’ve likely heard the CPD regularly claim eyebrow-raising murder clearance rates that never made much sense to anyone paying even the slightest bit of attention. Fortunately, the crew over at CWBChicago FOIA’d these mystical clearance rates and you’ll be shocked, SHOCKED!!, to know that there might be a little twisting for the truth to be found.
“The Bureau of Detectives cleared 319 homicides this year, bringing the homicide clearance rate to 51.70%. – the highest since 2019.”
Guess what? The press release was correct. Detectives did clear 319 murder cases last year.
What the press release did not mention was that only 140 of the cleared murders occurred last year—Richard Nixon was president when two of the slayings occurred. And nearly half of the 319 cases were “cleared” without anyone being charged. (full story)
We never believed any of the CPD’s supposed clearance numbers as even the most basic of database queries could never find much more than 20% arrested much less 50%+. CWB was kind enough to share the data with us and it paints a much different and much more realistic picture of what’s going on. Our takeaway is that you have about a 75% chance of getting away with murder.
DumbSpotter
While it seems as if not a week goes by where this crew doesn’t step on their dick, the whole ShotSpotter episode was dick-stomping at its finest. In the end, Brandon got his temporary extension of the “defective” and “racist” technology through the DNC for the low, low price of 9 months for the price of 13. Dumb.
At least it presented us with another t-shirt opportunity.
Nine Months Later
Hard to believe it’s only been nine months. Feels like 9 years.
First No-Hitter in Four Years
Finally! 1,513 days later, we recorded a day without a shooter and/or a homicide. It was such a momentous occasion that the CPD had the corporate media push out its own set of dates when no one was shot, however we take issue with a few of these incidents. Here are the CPD-provided dates along with some brief commentary:
Thursday, Mar. 21, 2019 - no one shot
Monday, Nov. 18, 2019 - no one shot
Tuesday, Jan 7, 2020 - no one shot
Friday, Feb. 21, 2020 - no one shot, but a fatal stabbing
Thursday, March 19, 2020 - we recorded 3 people shot
Tuesday, Dec. 19, 2023 - we recorded one person grazed
Wednesday, Feb. 28, 2024 - no one shot
Even if going with their dates and reasoning, five years and only at most seven person shot-free days is a dismal record that no one seems to be interested in improving upon.
Watch Your Step
Maybe it was the weather or some other divine inspiration, but we were cranking out the t-shirt ideas in February. In addition to the limited edition Drunk Chalkie tee shown above, we also pushed out a Tommy Gun Mickey tee in honor of the 95th anniversary of the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre as well as our technological answer to the eventual departure of ShotSpotter. Check them out and thank you for your support!
Social Dumpster Fires
We’ve cut down our social media presence to just those places we feel kind of work for us including the platform you’re on now (and not Facebook). Check us out on these other platforms if you haven’t already done so:
X: https://twitter.com/w_h_thompson
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heyjackasschicago/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@HeyJackass
If you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading. And remember “We don't want nobody nobody sent”.